Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Just Another Day @ Work

We work all day and party all night. Halloween doesn't have to be a boring affair at work. ;)

I'm a cereal killer / serial killer. Geddit? I made the costume myself! *proud beam*

Nikki Lane - Lies

Funny how you think you know a man
But in time you will understand
Tell me it ain't true
What is real is not a waste ideal
And the hardest part
You lied from the start
Tell me it ain't true

Baby there's something I just gotta tell you

You've been talking 'bout things I don't wanna know
Makes me wonder how I ever fell in love with you
Tell me it ain't true

I should have seen
Seen it in your eyes
I should have known
You were hiding all those lies
Tell me it ain't true

Lies, lies, lies
You keep telling me
Lies, lies, lies
Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies

So I threw all your things
All over her yard
All our photographs,
Broken records and guitars
Darling I'm afraid it dropped

Monday, 29 October 2012

Sunday, 28 October 2012

Ode to Dance! Ode to Love!

"Dance is the language of the soul." - Martha Graham

This year's Da:ns festival pays tribute and delved into the deepest and most intimate aspects of the human heart - love. 

Aspects of Love: An Evening of Ballet (23 Oct)
10 acts. 9 famous love stories. Romeo & Juliet, The Little Mermaid, Don Quixote, Swan Lake, Who Cares?, Manon, Jewels, The Lady of Camellias, Among the Stars. Newly paired dancers from world famous ballet troops. How long did they get to rehearse? Sadly, chemistry is lacking through and through. Dark Little Mermaid - she was going to swallow him whole! Tan Yuan Yuan, Huan Qi - the Chinese have taken center stage. Gents leap and ladies twirl. Conclusion: I prefer full-length stories instead of separated acts. 

Flamenco sin Fronteras by Paco Pena Flamenco Dance Company (28 Oct)
Stereotype - colours, high energy, clappers. This was another kind of journey. Brings one back to time when Spain was a huge influence in South America. No colours on costumes - muted black and white. No distraction! 4 principal dancers - 3 from Spain, 1 from Venezuela - doesn't seem fair a banter, even if it was a friendly one. Ferocity was contagious. Burst button. Pot bellied tucked out shirt. Yellow accent under white dress - love. Solo performer saved the day with his guitar performance when the other were having technical difficulties. I called him the "Guitar Hero". Turkish music makes a delightful change.

Ode to dance! Ode to love!

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Difference between Like & Love

To begin, a movie quote:

Bianca: There’s a difference between like and love. Because, I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack.
Chastity: But I love my Skechers.
Bianca: That’s because you don’t have a Prada backpack.
–10 Things I Hate About You

Thursday, 18 October 2012

Same Same But Different

Yin (standing behind me and speaking to Jiahui who is next to me): Jiahui, I want to give you a headsup that I have 9 candidates starting next Monday. Let me know if I need to do anything for their orientation.
Wii (turns around): Don't come over to haolian hor. *of course I said these in a joking manner - Yin is my best friend at work!*
Yin: Of course need to haolian la. 9 new hires in a week!
Wii: 9 hires is not big deal. I also have 9 hires. In a year.

All three of us burst out laughing. Yes, I laugh at myself. And I really enjoyed it. ;)

The Plotting Cat

I think Ah Boy is REALLY plotting to kill me.

Monday, 15 October 2012

You Might Have Told Me

You might have told me
You weren't comin' back
Instead of lettin' me believe
I still had a chance

And you might have told me
You found somebody new
Cause it was quite a big surprise
When I saw her and you

You could've mentioned
It was over
You didn't love me
Ain't nothin' colder
Than findin' out the one you need is gone
And now you're sayin'
This conversation
We've had a thousand times
Well I must have lost my mind
Cause I can't get it through my head
But now that I think about it

You might have told me
But like some heartbroke fool
I've conveniently forgotten
The sad and painful truth

And you might have told me
It was gonna to hurt this much
It might be the very reason
I've been so out of touch... out of touch

Sunday, 14 October 2012

Mad Rush

A 140km/hr dash to the airport at 12am. A text message sent at 12.30am which went unreplied. A call to the cold-hearted at 1.40am.

It was all a mad rush for nothing. 

Friday, 12 October 2012

The Worst Week. Yet.

Bf and I parted way. Waterfall ensued.
Fell sick with sore throat - occupation hazard.
Sore throat turned into an infection and resulted in a bout of fever.
Bus driver resigned out of the blue and left me scrambling to find a replacement by end of month.
Work has been really stressful and efforts are not paying off - high time to reconsider next chess move.

I want to go to the roof and shout at the top of my lungs, "REALLY? Is this the best you can throw at me?"

And I would have, if I still had my voice. :(

This is the worst week. Yet.

Thursday, 11 October 2012

The Wait

As the hands move across the dial, like a vineyard keeper waiting eagerly for the first autumn leaf to begin the harvest, I wait for 12.30pm.

The mixed feelings hang over the head like a neon sign screaming "You know you shouldn't feel this way no more!"

Tuesday, 9 October 2012

The Biggest Irony

Irony hits you when you least expect it.

Sunday evening, you decide you'll go away with him.

Monday evening, you decide he'll go away without you.

The biggest irony.

Monday, 8 October 2012

The Day It Ends

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did

And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did

And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know

Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love is worst
Empty promises will wear
I know, I know

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did...

What's Best For Them

He did what's the best for her. He let her go.
She did what's the best for him. She let him go.
They did what's the best for them. They let each other go.

Sunday, 7 October 2012

Books Feed the Soul

I missed the smell and the feel of fresh pulp when I flipped the pages, but as much I have been reluctant to, I have plunged into the world of digital books faster than I'd like to admit.

Yesterday was the second day since I started reading the Hunger Games series. Driven by a strange desire to finish the captivating lines, I cared for nothing else in the world, ignoring all the messages that flooded my inbox and my own sense of being throughout the day. I had all but a bag of chips and three glasses of iced water that filled my tummy. Oh wait, I was momentarily drawn away from the ebook by a later than scheduled delivery which saw my HTC phone returning to my care, or rather, lack thereof since it needed not to go to the repair center if I had cared for it properly. But I digress. Grudgingly, I laid the phone beside my pillow at about two in the morning when my eyes diminished into a small slit and threatened to never open if I didn't rest them. I woke up this morning, reached out across the bed, and with a few buttons, the words make their agonising slow appearance on the screen and I continued to abuse of my eyes to the delight of my mind.

At close to noon, I came to the end of the series. The series, Hunger Games, in three days. Previously, the series, Fifty Shades of Grey, in five days.

Yes, that's how fast I consume my books. Reading feeds my mind and soul. It really does. When I pored over the books, I am transported into a virtual world, where my imagination runs wild, in a good way, and comes to life. The words jump out of the pages and form images so vivid that sometimes, after reading a spine-chilling passage in a book, I have to leave my night light on*. Silly, I know. When I felt that the visual images were projected incorrectly, I reread the paragraphs to get new sense of what they should be. I feel the emotions (the fear, the elation, the pain), the struggles (the pain, the fear, the elation) and the triumphs of the characters (the elation, the pain, the fear) washing over me as I absorbed each and every word. Sometimes, the death of loved ones in the pages brings about memories of mum and I wonder wherever she is now. I learnt occasional new words and the one word that is forever ingrained into my memory is "moot". I see things, some things, differently.

The connection didn't hit me till I sat down to reflect upon the two series - I was reading both series to keep my mind occupied after huge fights with the bf (who now seemed destined to be ex-bf in no time, given our increasingly frequent arguments :( ). The attraction between the two main leads is undeniable, even if it's just words. That's the kind of love where the other will give up everything, including his or her life, if need be. It wasn't about what one wants or needs, it's about how one makes the other feels. Safe, excited secure, jealous, happy, suspicious? The person I'm with should make me feel like there is no other woman for him in the world and will give up everything for me (not that I’d ask for that but still, it’s always nice to know someone would). It all boils down to that – the connection I was referring to.

I know the twist in writing about reading turned into writing about relationships was unexpected. The intention to mislead wasn't premeditated. I did say I see some things differently now.

* There was even once when I stopped reading in the night because I was scaring myself to death with an imagined but seemed too real scene out of His Dark Materials.

PS: Speaking of imagination, I'd imagined Dobby was more Yoda-like in terms of appearances and not the scrawny little imp he has been brought to screen. That's why I'd never forgive Hollywood for butchering book-turned-movie franchise.

PPS: I have a habit of writing the date I finished a book on the last page. I just realised I can't do that anymore with ebooks. Damn!

PPPS: Has anyone else realised that both series ended with both couples having two children? Is it a coincidence or is the number two a lucky one in the literary world?

Friday, 5 October 2012

The Constant Reminder

Ruby Sparks
The Words
Life of Pi
Chasing Mavericks
The Perks of Being a Wallflower 

Movies about authors, movies about books. What's with the constant reminder?

Tuesday, 2 October 2012


Yet, another unreplied email. Yet, another disappointment.

Thank You

And I clicked "Send"


Thank you for the holiday.
 Thank you for hugging me to sleep comfortably - I think the comfy pillows helped.
Thank you for teaching me how to snorkel properly and holding my hands underwater to make me feel safe.
Thank you for indulging in McDonald's and ice cream for me.
Thank you for ordering mango sticky rice for me, even though you were unhappy with me.
Thank you for pouring your heart out last night (rather, this morning).
Thank you for sending me to work this morning.

I love you.


A Weekend in Phuket

Monday, 1 October 2012

Love Is

Love is when your boyfriend is fuming mad at you and yet, he'd still secretly order your much-craved mango sticky rice to be served after dinner.