Friday, 30 June 2006

June 2006

(Original blog can be found at

Tuesday, 27 June 2006
Episode Three of "The Worst Days of My Life”

I'm sitting in front of my computer at this moment (of course I had to be to be typing this, I know) and I'm still in shock now. Let me recount this bad good day.

My good day started with me finally having satays for dinner! Yes, my day starts only after 6pm. I may wake up at 3pm but the hours from 3pm to 6pm are happy hours. No, not the happy hours you are familiar with. My happy hours would mean me sitting in front of the tv and channel surfing. Love it!

Anyway, I've been craving for satays for over a week and now, I'm satisfied. *pats at my tummy* Gylleann must be grinning at this cos she knows how big my tummy is. STOP LAUGHING, GYLLEANN! Or I’ll set Ah Boy the Ferociously Cat after you!

Next, I want chilli crabs! Chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli craaaaaaaabs!

Sing along~ (To your own tune, if you wish. I don’t mind since you’re only going to burst your own eardrums, not mine. Keke~)

Chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli craaaaaaaabs!

Chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli craaaaaaaabs!

I won’t stop till you sing along~~~

Chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli craaaaaaaabs!

Chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli craaaaaaaabs!

Chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli craaaaaaaabs!

Come on!

Chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli craaaaaaaabs!

Now, that’s better.

Chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli craaaaaaaabs!

Chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli chilli craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabs!

Goodie Goodie Goodie! *claps feverishly for ten minutes*

-after ten minutes-
*pretends nothing has happened*

Right, so the good day continues with me catching a movie “R.V.” (starring Robin Williams). As we all know, Robin Williams hasn’t been at the top of his game in recent years. Thus, I wasn’t expecting much from the movie.

Boy, was I wrong.

The show was hilarious. The typical plot of a family who hates each other coming to learn how to love each other at the end. Typical. It was real amusing though. I laughed throughout the whole movie and if you know me well enough, I’m easily amused. But seriously, the movie’s good. Go catch it!

Go check out the trailer (

No, they didn’t pay me to say all these. I wouldn’t mind if they want to though. Sony, my account number is 36-546….

The satays and movie cheered me up a lot. I had the worst two days of my life, which I will not go into details. Just need to know that it involves a guy, a girl and a whole lot of pride. The two days were like freaking episodes one and two of “The Worst Days of My Life”.

The day was good and I finally arrived home. I had to dig my keys out of my bag, slot it into the keyhole, turn the key, push the knob, kick open the door and rushed into my home all within 1.31 second, for there was a dead baby lizard lying in the corridor! The good day is about to turn bad. I could feel it in my bones.

In the living room, I saw Ah Boy sitting in his usual spot, looking as if he doesn’t have a care in the world.

Come to think of it, he really doesn’t! He well-fed (which explains why he’s so fat), well-sheltered (he literally has a roof over his head when he’s in his box), well-travelled (he gets to walk into all the rooms of the house), well-rested (he sleeps 23½ hours a day... helloooo?) and well-educated (he knows mum-mum means snacks and string string means playtime).

Suddenly, Ah Boy got all psyched. When he’s psyched, his tail goes wish-wash wish wash like it’s on prozac. I have seen him like this before and this could only mean one things -- he spotted a lizard!

Next thing I knew, Ah Boy jumped onto a cabinet, messed up the trophies on the cabinet, made a few turns, claw at something and before you can say “Jackie Chan”, the lizard’s in his mouth!

This is, of course, a good thing for one less lizard in the world is one less lizard in the world. Hooray~!

The not-so-good thing is Ah Boy started to make his way towards me. WITH THE FREAKING LIZARD IN HIS MOUTH!!!!!!!


I slammed the door shut and locked it; least Ah Boy learned how to open a door since the last time I saw him (which was at 5pm today). (Three hours is the exact length of time a cat needs to learn how to turn the knob. Trust me. Ah Boy told me so. Yes, he did.)

Mind you, this wasn’t an ordinary lizard. It’s a freaking big lizard! Big is actually an understatement.

I have reasons to believe that this lizard measures 359415cm from head to tail (accurate to 0.1mm) and weighs 514953kg (accurate to 0.1grams)!

May I add that my mum and sister were woken by my screams. Keke~

I’m sure you’re puzzled why Ah Boy was walking towards me. Simply because I’m the Queen and Ah Boy wanna make his daily tribute to me. But HELL! I don’t want no lizards, you furless cat. Guards, off with his whiskers! (Since he hasn’t got any more fur to be removed.)

In the end, the lizard got mauled by Ah Boy and died a slow, horrible death.

Is today meet-and-greet lizard day!?!?! What the hell…

Oh NO!!! The baby lizard is dead. The mother lizard is dead too. Now, I bet the father lizard will want to avenge them and he’ll come after me!


I told you it’s a bad good day. It’s freaking episode three of "The Worst Days of My Life”.

Monday, 26 June 2006
Qiaojing: The Number One Obsessor
Qiaojing and I were discussing our meeting plans online just now. She, being obsessed as she is, decided that on top of chatting to me online, she wanna talk to me over the phone as well.

Here's proof of her obsession.

Now, you'd understand why she's called my number one obsessor, no?

Monday, 26 June 2006
Chewy's Virgin Waterfall
At 10am on Saturday, I was awake. You mean this doesn't sound weird to you? You're weirder than me!

Everyone should know by now that Wynnii doesn't get out of bed before 12 noon. AND now that I'm a bummer, my 12pm is changed to 3pm. Whatever does this mean?

Simply, I don't get out of bed before 3pm now.

Cos 12pm is now 9am, 12.01pm is now 9.01am, 12.02pm is now 9.02am, 12.03pm is now 9.03am, 12.04pm is now 9.04am and so forth. You get the idea, no?

Another reason why it's weird is because I was out clubbing on Friday night! I only slept at 4.30am!

I'm hoping this is a one-time thing that wouldn't happen again! I don't like to leave my bed!

Anyway, me, Jessica and Chewy went dbl O on Friday.

We told Chewy it's a full-dressed rehearsal for her upcoming birthday party. Another birthday! Can' wait, can't wait!
It was also Miss Fung's pre-school celebration.
It was also my year-long post-graduation celebration. Whatever do you mean by I cannot have a year-long post-graduation celebration? Nobody else has them, I know. I don't care!

Chewy finally get her chance to try the legendary waterfall. Look at her waiting impatiently for the drink.

Chewy was supposed to go down after the waterfall but she didn't! Maybe she practise with Ah Boy in the bathroom eh...

Jessica and I almost slaughter her cos she was saying "Waterfall has no kick". We bought more drinks in an attempt to shut her up and of course, to get her drunk (So that we can take discriminating pictures of her. Keke~).

One Vodka orange, two Waterfalls, three Bacardi Breezers and two Flaming Lamborghinis later, we were still sober! Complete waste of our money!

However, we (or rather they) couldn't bear to leave the dance floor.

Yes, with Jessica and I around, you wouldn't wanna leave either.

Thursday, 22 June 2006
Ah Boy, the Potential Alcoholic
Ah Boy aka Merlin the Cat has this very peculiar habit. He loves to drink in the bathroom. Drink water! Not alcohol, you silly!

I caught him the in act.

I know alcoholics like to hide in the bathrooms to drink but Ah Boy is no alcoholic. Or is he? Hmm....

Thursday, 22 June 2006
The Last Mambo With Jessica and Qiaojing. For Now.
Whoever heard of people arriving at clubs before 11.30pm nowadays? Well, Qiaojing, Chewy and I arrived at MOS at 10.10pm last night. We have the perfect reason. We wanted the goodie bags, we admit. Useless goodies in the goodie bags, but we like. Ha~

Miss Jessica Fung arrived at 11pm and guess what? We decided we cannot betray Mambo and thus, the four of us headed down to Zouk instead.

When the smell of Mambo hit us, we get right into the mood.

Sob sob! Jessica's going back to work next week. This means we cannot mambo anymore! Till Sept, that is. Therefore, we made sure we had a blast at Mambo last night (as evident in pic of Jessica and Chewy). We must have irritated a lot of people by taking pics on the dance floor. BUT, we DON'T care!

And we'll make sure we'll have another blast at Dbl O this Friday. Yes, we made plans to club again this week cos it's the LAST week of the holidays already! I'm going to miss mambo-ing with you sooooo much, Miss Fung.

Only Chewy, I and Jessica were left standing at the end of the night. Qiaojing left early. Weak girl, sign up for the drinking camp with Karen.

The last but best Mambo, yet!

Wednesday, 21 June 2006
This Is Perfect
Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis

He got it to a T.

I have the perfect excuse to kick people. *evil grin*

Tuesday, 20 June 2006
Another Birthday, Another Round
Another birthday!! Yeah~ I love birthdays! Birthdays are the best!

You receive greetings, hugs, kisses, flowers, love, smiles. Let's not forget the presents that you wonder whatever the hell your friends were thinking of when they bought the presents. This is why I have a wish list for anyone who is buying me presents. (Please read "My Any Occasion Wish List", dated 15th Jan 2006)

Topping the list is a pair of baby penguins. I prefer fairie penguins cos they're smaller and thus, fit better into my fridge.
Second on the list is a Burberry Trenchcoat. I don't mind either beige or blue. My size is US 0.
Third, we come to an all expense-paid trip to New York City. Yes, all expense-paid. I believe some kind soul will grant me this one day. I know I can save up to go but it'll just be fun. If it's free, it's double the fun!

The list goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on. I know I should stop already, but no can do. Since I mentioned some things I yearned for, I must mention things that I DO NOT wish to get as presents.

Here are some which you should not get me ever again.
1. Cosmetics
2. Accessories
3. Stuffed toys
4. ...

All right all right, I'll stop right here. I heard some yawns already. Okie, back to the other people's birthday part. (yawnzzz... boring...)

I must say this though. Seriously, the wish list makes things so much easier for you and I, no?

Okie, really back to the other people birthday part. (double yawnzzz... double boring... you cannot tell I don't wanna talk about any other birthday except for mine eh...)

So, Charmaine wants to celebrate her birthday in advance and so dinner and drinks are a must.

Now, I have only pictures of us having drinks at Giraffe (opposite Plaza Sing). Why? Dear Gylleann bought her camera but she didn't charge it, so we can't take no pictures. Since it's Charmaine's birthday, you would think she brought her camera as well right? Well, she did. And guess what? She didn't charge her camera too.

So we have two cameras with no usable batteries.
What's wrong with these people?

I think they think their bags think they (the bags) are too light and want them (the girls) to carry more things. (If you tell me you can say this in one breath, you're good. A good liar, that is.)

My sister saved the day when she came over and she has this Sony-Ericsson phone with floodlight. Not flashlight, mind you. It's really floodlight! (Show you next time.)

Happy birthday, Charmaine!

Monday, 19 June 2006
Laugh Out Loud
A lesson on how important and powerful punctuation is.
An English professor wrote the words:
"A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females in the class wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."
I think I'll go with the latter. :)

Monday, 19 June 2006
Soccer Like Never Before (The Sequel)
I just have to put these up.

Read "Soccer Like Never Before" (17th June 06) and you'll understand these clips.

Look at these three overly-excited crazy girls. You think you're cheering for their teams? Hell, no! They are cheering because the other team misses the goal kicks!

Now, watch them cheer sheepishly another miss. Gosh!

Then we have Qiaojing shooting the other two so that she'll have discriminating evidence against them for future blackmail use.

Monday, 19 June 2006
My Loves And I
This is dedicated to my love of my life, Miss Jessica Fung Wei Yan (Yes, I just have to mention your full name. hee~).

Miss Fung is in Hong Kong “mai dong xi, chi dong xi” (her own words).

I was having dinner last night when I received a text message.

Miss Fung, you love me. You really love me!

(Miss Fung, I honestly think you should stay in HK permanently cos I think Qiaojing will take your life when you’re back. Or we could keep this a secret from Qiaojing. Shhhhh.....)

So I must mention it here too that Qiaojing (my number one obsess-er --- there’s a list, honest!) went to Bangkok last year and she bought me some belts which I love! I was looking high and low for the belts in Singapore to no avail.

Qiaojing actually went around the shopping malls in Bangkok with a picture of the belts and huang tian bu fu ku xin ren, she found them! She not only bought one for me. She bought three (knowing that I must have backups)!

Hmm… I know I dedicated this to Miss Fung initially and as usual, I digress.

Therefore, this is dedicated to my two loves of my life, Miss Jessica Fung Wei Yan (Yes, I just have to mention your full name again) and Miss Joey Lim Qiaojing (my number one obsess-er).

Sunday, 18 June 2006
A Bowling Trip That Came to Naught
Last night, I went to a bowling centre. What do you do there? Bowl, of course. You'd think so, wouldn't you? However, I just sat and watch Rudy, Jeremy and Derek bowl; and watch them try to outdo each other (with underhanded means, no less).


Cos dear Rudy forgot to bring my bowling ball (he's the unofficial driver and bring-er of bowling balls, which are at his place). He arrived at my void deck asking me if I could bowl with my cracked bowling ball (which was at home).

Rudy! What's wrong with you? You said bowl. I said yes. Then you didn't bring my bowling ball?

"Look on the bright side", Rudy said. "At least you have your bowling shoes with you".

Yes, and what am I supposed to do with them?

Good thing the only thing on my mind was food. I just wanted dinner. We always supper after bowling, so bowling was the motivation for me to get my butt of of the house.

Silly little Derek was upset that his crush didn't call him back as promised. He's only 17. Teenage crush and love. Awwww. How I wish I could turn back time.

Saturday, 17 June 2006
Soccer Like Never Before
What happens when you get four crazy girls who don't know much about soccer to watch a soccer match? AND get them to place bets on the match? Qiaojing, Jaslynn, Janet and I went to watch soccer at LiquidKitchen (Bukit Timah) on Friday. Yes, watch soccer. What's wrong with that?

The thing is among the four of us, two subscribe to the World Cup on SCV. What's wrong with us? I know. I'm asking the same question too. So way before the first match (Argentina - Serbia and Montenegro) started, Janet was asking if we wanted to place any bets already. First, we decided we'll bet $10, 2-1 to Argentina. This is $10 shared among four of us.

Just five minutes after the first bet, Jaslynn was saying we should place another bet so that we'll win anyhow. "It makes sense", Jaslynn insisted. Now, this is how people get addicted to gambling.

Finally, we settled for $10, 2-0 and $10,2-1 to Argentina.

In the first half of the game, we lost our bets already. What the hell!?! Hey! Isn't there such thing as beginner's luck? And you know what. Jaslynn and Janet started asking if we should place our bets already for the second match. This is during the first half of the first game!! See, what did I tell you about being addicted?

Since the match is of no more interest to us anymore, we turned our attention to the food and desserts instead.
Jaslynn commented that the cake is very nice. The picture of the cake, that is. I cannot agree more cos I took the pic. Haha~

So then again, they placed bets for the second match (I didn't cos I'm not in the mood after not winning my side bet of $200 on the first match. I need this $200 to fund my new red shoes!).

Jaslynn: "Sure win one this match". When you have a "sure win" match, what do you do? You increase your bets, of course. This time round, it's a $100 bet on Holland (also known as Netherlands). From $10 to $100. It's a d
ownward spiral for these three, I tell you.

So what happens when you have ten ti
mes the money at stake?

This is what happens...

Dissing the referee and opposite team

Bored at the prospect of losing

Make that three crazy girls.

Wednesday, 14 June 2006
Now, I'm Afraid Of Love
I received a message on friendster today and my my, it's from someone whose nick is 'Love'. How original. Not to mention tacky.

I am sincerely and seriously looking for a boyfriend, as everyone should be well aware of.
Now, I'm afraid of Love. (Every pun intended.)

Tuesday, 13 June 2006
Accessories Are A Girl's Best Friends
Recently, I chanced upon a very interesting piece of accessory.

It looks like an ordinary bracelet all right. Go on, ask me what's the time now. My bracelet is actually a watch. This must be one of the coolest watches around! I know it's a tad boring to be reading about my gorgeous and fabulous watch, but what else would you have me to write?

The World Cup? Fine, ask and thy shall receive.

On the opening day of the World Cup, I met up with a whole bunch of friends and we went for a nice dinner.
I had two escargo(es).

Then three escargo(es).

Then four escargo(es).

There you have it. Something about the World Cup.

Thursday, 08 June 2006
Yet Another First and Yet Another Mambo
I went to watch The Omen yesterday. The Omen is, as everyone is well aware of, a Horror, Suspense/Thriller film.

I know you are thinking "NO WAY! Wynnii wouldn't watch a horror show. She must be nuts!"

Or I must be forced to by a certain someone. Let's not name names, for I'm afraid the certain someone's life might be in peril because Qiaojing, being obsessed as she is, might decide to take revenge on that certain someone for putting me through such a horrifying experience.

Mr Huang Junyao, you better be careful. Opps!

When the show was about to start, he decided he needed to take a leak and left me all alone in the theatre!!! If there had been any horror scenes in the first five minutes, I would have been chased out already!

Why? You asked?
You mean you need to ask?

Okie, if you have to know. It’s simply because I would have screamed so bloody loud that the rest of the audience demand I leave. That’s why.

Anyway, it was a Wednesday yesterday and no Wednesdays are to slip by without mambo-ing. Yes, it’s a rule. For me, at least. Wednesday nights will, must, have to, gotta end with merrymaking at Zouk.

Again, our dear Miss Ding got drunk. This bit is as per usual so no biggie. Two hours into her staggering and slurring, she started frenching (YES! French-kissing!) some guy from god knows where (YES! God knows where!).

Kevin and Jolene, can you two please stop her from engaging in such mortifying acts!

Mambo, Zouk: The good ol’ place where you find all sorts of people for all sorts of fun.

Monday, 05 June 2006
We're Above That, Miss Fung!
Last Friday, I was on my way to meet Miss Fung and a bunch of secondary classmates and when I asked her where was she, her reply was "We're chilling out at Coffee Bean".

I stopped in my path.

I felt faint.

I gasped for air.

I recomposed myself.

I immediately replied, "What CHILLING OUT!? We don't do no chilling out, Miss Fung. Chilling out is for old, working people. Hm.. wait a minute, you are one. Ermm.. whatever is it, we DON'T chill out".

Miss Fung must be too stressed out by the kids in school. She would have never in a million years told me that she's chilling out if she's in the right frame of mind.

We're above that, Miss Fung!

No comments: