Wednesday, 31 May 2006

May 2006

(Original blog can be found at

Monday, 29 May 2006
Chewy's A Star's Tripmate
Does anyone remember the Lemon Tree guy from Singapore Idol (should really be Singaporean Idol, but does anyone care?)?

My sister went on a trip with him!! Before you think too much, they're not. Nope, they're not. I would kill my sister with my bare hands if they are.

If you're confused now, never mind.

Anyway, the point to all this is -- The poor thing has quite a few nicks, from what I've heard.

1. Lemon Tree (of course)
2. LT
3. FOS (Factory Outlet... reason being they're all rejects)

Guess which one is Lemon Tree? (Hint: Floral print will look good on tv, I bet.)

Sunday, 28 May 2006
GSS = Great Seven Sins
The annual Great Singapore Sale (GSS) has dawned upon us again for the months of May, June and July. I daresay these are the most fabulous months of the year, dah-ling. That is with the exception of January (my birthday month), of course.

For every girl and guy (whoever says guys don’t shop?) alike, this is the time to hit the stores and splurge like there’s no tomorrow.
Come on, people! There’s no better time to play your part of good citizen, make the effort to build the country and spur the economy forward.

Do you want another progress package or not?

During the GSS, the words ‘guilt’ and ‘thrift’ are thrown out of the window faster than you can say ‘Sale’. And this the time when deliciously unpleasant sins comes into to play.

Most people on the face of Earth are familiar with these words: Vanity, Gluttony, Greed, Envy, Anger, Sloth and Pride. They are the infamously famous seven deadly sins, which send fear down one’s spine whenever they are brought to mind.

If your’re not quivering by now, then welcome to my world.

The Wonderfully Sinful Yet Guilt-Free World of Wynnii

Now, anyone in the right frame of mind will tell you this. ‘Wear sensible shoes when you know you’re going to shop till you drop’. But whoever heard of anyone actually listening and adhering to this piece of shitty (albeit wise, I must admit) advice?

I wore wedges when I was out shopping with Qiaojing on Friday. Like I always say, “Look the part and half the battle is won”.

No, actually, I always say, “If you can’t play well, look good”.

Whatever it is, you never know when the occasion will arise – the occasion being to go clubbing. And you were thinking of?

I’ll like to take this opportunity to explain why is it that I haven’t master swimming but I have a wardrobe full of bikinis, tankinis, tunics, hats, shawls, sandals, beach totes, sunglasses... You get the idea. I bet very few people knew this: I was a girl guide when I was in Dunearn. The Girl Guide’s motto is “Be prepared”. The CCA has really taught me an invaluable life lesson.

Now I’m all prepared for my diving trip, if you discount the I- don’t-know-how-to-swim part, that is.

Just look at the stops the malls are pulling to attract our al-mighty dollars! The marvellous spread of merchandise the stores have is simply magnificent and all too alluring.

It’s akin to the buffet at Conrad (the heavenly mango pudding… ahhhh…) where you have too much to choose in too little time. Whoever says you can only have one serving?

The mouth-watering shoes!
The sumptuous bags!
The delectable dresses!
The lip-smacking bangles and necklaces!

I want them all!

AND I want them now!

Waiter, all to go, please.

Okie, back to the shopping trip.

I was at Tangs and I was picking up any bag that caught my fancy. I was holding a total of six bags within 15 minutes. (I’m that decisive, Jessica.) I handed three of these to the salesgirl and said, ““I want these. Two of each, please”.

(You poor thing must be wondering why I didn’t buy backups for the other three bags right? Well, the only logical explanation is because the other three bags are of the same designs, only in different colours. They’re backed-up already. Keke~ You wouldn’t for a moment think I was not myself, would you silly?)

A guy beside me gaped when he overheard me saying I wanted more of the same bags. He looked as if he needed resuscitation.

“He must be really happy you’re not his girlfriend”, Qiaojing said.

I say he’s just envious the girlfriend cannot be better than me at this shopping thing.

The salesgirl then informed me that only one of the bags is available in quantity.









Two dazzling dresses and seven gorgeous bags later (Whoever dare to say again that I do not contribute to the economy because I don’t work?), Qiaojing and I enjoyed an hour and a half of The Canterbury Tales at the DBS Arts Centre.

After the comedy, I am to head to MOS to party the rest of the night away with Jessica (See! The occasion has arisen!). Since I was at Mohd Sultan and there are no buses that would take me to Clarke Quay, it’ll make sense to travel by cab. Fine, it’s makes sense only because I’m a bag of lazy bones, but hey! I needed to conserve my energy for the more important thing: dancing.

[Gluttony, Again] (All Miss Fung’s Doing…)
Against my better judgement, I agreed to Jessica’s request for a strawberry margarita.
The drink was bittersweet, literally! It took us forever to finish it. And by forever, I meant forever! Miss Fung, you and your strawberry... I knew pink must be trouble.

Lugging the countless paper bags up the stairs leading to my house, into my overcrowded-with-bags-shoes-and-clothes bedroom, I cannot help but wonder, “Should I seek help?”

Help for my shopoholic gene, not help with the bags, you silly.

After some consideration, I decided against it. Everything’s under control, Qiaojing.

All the seven deadly sins in a day. I’m so good I'm bad. Mind you, I’m doing all these for the greater good: the economy.

Go on, tell yourself that too.

The Happy Bag Family!

Sunday, 21 May 2006
Ladies and Gentlemen, It’s a Done Deal.
I have finally graduated!! It happened on Thursday and it’s a done deal. I’m officially a fashion merchandising and marketing graduate. As much as I don’t know shit about fashion, I managed to waddle through the murky waters and stepped foot onto the other side of the bank.

Now, I’m officially a bum. Again.

It was a fabulous day, that is if we were to minus the near breakdown I had backstage. It was chaotic and I keep repeating, “We don’t have enough time to change them all”. They turned out to be unfounded fears.

Everything went smoothly, and by smoothly, I meant the stains were hidden and the shoes were worn just in time. I double-checked the accessories. I triple checked the accessories. I quad-triple checked the accessories. I just had to make sure.

I cannot believe how much of an adrenalin rush it was. I didn’t get to see my collection being walked down the runway, but I imagine it to be good. Or else, we wouldn’t have won, would we?

“Best Manufacturing” award. Interesting award it is.

A mannequin as a prize. Interesting prize it is.

The only thing I’m pissed about is that my invited guests didn’t get any seats. EVEN THOUGH they were holding seating tickets. Lousy crowd control. Don’t get me started on the getai singer. Whatever was that?!?!

My mum was there the whole time even though she had to stand. Sorry, mummy. I love you. All my dear friends were there. Qiaojing, Ying Ying, Jessica, Weihao, Aaren, Junyao, Edwin and even Janet turned up. I feel bad that you guys have to stand around and I was too busy to entertain. Sorry. My bad. But I know you still love me.

Chewy, you missed everything! It’ll be perfect if you were here. You would have been so proud. I’ll bet you’d cry. Then I can tease you forever, like how you always tease me. But not to worry, there will be another graduation, another time. You be there the next time round, I tell you.

I forgot to mention that my do of the day shocked almost everyone. I had curly hair for the first time in many, many, many years. I loved the hair! All thanks to Noah and Gylleann.

Gylleann, where do I even begin? Now, who’s going to open my can drinks and buy breakfast for me? I’ll miss you so much.

All the hard work (read: bitching, ranting and putting up with morons) finally paid off.

Now, let the post-graduation celebrations begin!


Me with my fav, Ganna

Saturday, 06 May 2006
Now, That’d Be Boring
Interestingly, Ruth asked me why is it that I update my blog with mostly my weekly clubbing trip. My reply to Ruth was “I only write about happy things and stuff”. Who doesn’t know already that my standard reply to anyone who says “Have fun clubbing” is “I will. I always do”. It makes a lot of sense now, doesn’t it?

If I choose to write every mundane thing that happened in this week, I would have entered about 10, give or take 3,000,000 entries.

Well, the reason I’m writing this is because Ruth said I MUST mention her. So, there you go, my dear. Ruth, I didn’t even write about my trips to Zouk, MOS, Zouk on 28th, 29th and 3rd respectively. Haha~

Also, does anyone really want to know about dreary stuff such as:

My sister is saying her last prayer because I’ve hired a hit man to get rid of her. Before you jump into any conclusion, hear me out. She downloaded some stuff (after my much repeated severe warnings not to) and now, my computer is infected with don’t know what shit. Tell me she doesn’t deserve it. Go on, tell me.

Merlin aka Ah Boy aka Boy Boy aka Ah Girl aka Girl Girl aka Fatty Bum Bum aka The Cat That I Bully aka The Cat That Sleep 23½ Hours A Day aka The Cat That Loves Chicken, Not Fish aka The Cat That Has An Ugly Fur Cut (all thanks to me, hee) had a new water bowl.

I ate at Pastamania. For god knows how many times these two weeks already.

I accompanied Chewy on a shopping trip this week and I ended up spending more money than her. She spent $80 and I spent $100. Isn’t this supposed be her shopping trip? *confused*

I voted for the first (and hopefully not the last) time in my life. I had taken care to dress nicely because I had thought there would be reporters and lots of photo-taking at the polling stations like they always show on tv, and boy, was I wrong.

I watched The Wild and my love for penguins has yet increased another notch. Now, this actually doesn’t make sense for my love for penguins is already at its max but yet, I managed to take it to another level.

Speaking of taking it to another level…

Instead of the usual piles of book or clothes I bring clubbing with me (I’m insane, I know), I managed to lug some stuff which you’d never have guessed in a million years to Dbl O on Friday. I went Ikea and as usual, I bought dinnerware and glassware. My spoils: a plate, a bowl and a vase {I have a vase now. You (again, you know who you are) know what to do.}. These I brought to Dbl O. (I’m insane, I know.)

Now, these are boring, no?

Saturday, 06 May 2006

Ladies and Gentlement, We Have a New Chart Topper

I love celebrating birthdays! This I bet you know already.

It is Jaslin’s this time round at Dbl O last night (Friday). Hmm... it seems like Dbl O is the watering hole for birthdays eh. Anyway, Jessica, Qiaojing, Chewy and I went down to join in the celebrations.
This time round, there were no waterfalls. Whatever is going on?!? The birthday girls has to puke as a rite, no? No birthday is complete without waterfalls but I guess Vodka Raspberry will do just fine. Chewy was looking forward to downing the legendary drink. Don’t worry, Chewy. You’ll get your chance for I know there’s another birthday just around the corner.

The birthday girl surely must had lots of fun cos there was quite a huge turnout. She had friends, and friends of friends, and friends of boyfriend, and sister of friend of boyfriend. How’s that for a party? Now, this sounds almost like an election rally where you wanna garner as much crowd as possible eh. Interesting pov, I must say.

The night was great cos the music was good! I dance like Ally McBeal, or so I was told by someone very close to me. I wondered how I should take this. Whatever the reasons behind this acute observation, I’ll take it positively. Ha~

This night is the night when a brand new lousy pickup line tops the “He Said What!?” chart. Here’s a list of the lousy pickup lines we’ve encountered.

The music is not fast enough”. --> I guessed it’s his fast dance moves, not the music.

Want to dance together?” --> No.

Can we join you?” --> No.

Want to join us?” --> NO! Do we have to wear placards already?

The runner-up at a close second is...
We have met before, right?” --> This bespectacled geek is short and plain ugly. In retrospect, I really should have replied “No, we don’t usually notice ugly people” but that would be just mean (Wait a minute! I am mean. Shit, I wasted my chance. No worries, there will be more idiots in the future to be put in their places. Stay tuned.).

Another good reply would be “Yeah, in Australia”. If you are not laughing at this, you’ve missed a darn good joke.

And the winner is… (drums roll)
Have a good weekend” --> This really takes the cake. Why, you ask? Yes, this sounds sooo innocent. Well, this guy had his hand outstretched for a handshake! Is it election fever or what? This guy wanna shake your hand! This really really takes the cake. Good thing we ignored him or he might just launch into his rally speech.

This guy wins, hands down (no pun intended).

The night ended “strangely early” (this I quote Junyao) for us. FYI, we left at 2.30am. Whoever heard of Wynnii leaving the dance floor before 3am, no, make it 4am? I can almost hear Jessica say “Should we make that 5am?” haha~

Nevertheless, ladies and gentlemen, we have a new winner. You have a good weekend. (Handshake optional)

Monday, 01 May 2006
Life's Too Short for Indecisiveness
I dedicate this piece to Miss Fung.

Jessica posed to me two done-to-death questions just now. She asked (and I quote word for word),

"How many freakin' shoes do you have ah?"
"How come most of your shoes come in two colours?"

Then she proceeded to assume I was indecisive and therefore I have so many pairs of shoes in the same colours.

To which I immediately rebutted, "Not me".

I made very decisive decisions.

I simply tell the salesperson, "I want all the colours you have".

I'm that decisive, Miss Fung.

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